Laughter, Cucumber

Dad: Twelve pages of mortgage forclosures in the paper today. That means about (counting) a hundred houses!

Me: That's depressing.

Dad: What are you doing?

Me: Taking a picture of a cucumber.

(incredulous laughter)

It's pretty. It has drops of water coming out the end.

(more laughter)

What, that doesn't convince you that its picture worthy?

Dad: It's not unusual. Most things bleed if you cut them.

Me: Hmmpf.

Dad: Look at all the robins. That means we're going to have robins nesting around here.

Me: Don't we always?

Dad: We do, but they're dying.

Me: Uh...

Dad: All of the pesticides and things we're using are killing them off. Your mother got a letter from someone recently who said we were lucky to have birds. There aren't any birds where she lives anymore. I can't remember who that was...

Me: Well, that stinks.

Dad: Blooming state police...I ought to give them a piece of my mind. (picking up phone)

Me: What did they do?

Dad: They pushed my car over the edge of the river.

Me: What?!

Dad: My car broke down and I went down to the river to get some water for it and a state trooper pushed it over the edge with a bulldozer.

(staring)

I told him my brother-in-law was a statie and I was going to tell him about it.

(confused silence)

It was a dream.

Me: Ohhh!

(laughter)

I was like, brother-in-law--and you had the telephone in your hand--!

Dad: I'm calling Kenny.

(laughter)