AA Meeting

One of the assignments in my Chemical Dependency class was to attend an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting and write about my observations. This is part of what I wrote:

A woman got up to open the meeting and said, "Hi, I'm Lisa and I'm an alcoholic." I was impressed with the honesty and courage it takes to say that to a roomful of people, some of them strangers. Lisa couldn't know if everyone there was an alcoholic or, like me, was there to observe. It must be humbling to admit to a lot of people that one has a problem, even if everyone else has the same problem.

The first speaker was named Richard. He said one of the causes of his alcoholism is he came from a dysfunctional home. His father was an alcoholic and was physically abusive. Richard has cerebral palsy and is always in pain. He said he used to think pain was a good reason to drink but now he realizes pain is just an excuse.

Richard looked at the clock before telling the group that he had been sober for 13 hours. At first I thought he meant that he had been drinking 13 hours ago, but he went on to explain that he did not count yesterday because it was the past. Richard said he could not count on tomorrow, so all he had was today.

When he said that, the urgency of Richard's situation hit me. Between his poor health and the danger of a relapse, all he has is right now. My heart went out to him because it seemed to me that Richard is just hanging on and that's a frightening position to be in....

The speakers mentioned life in "the hall", which I take it meant AA halls, and it occurred to me that for some people, AA is like a society. Richard, the first speaker, said that he went to at least two meetings a day in different towns.

The meetings take up a lot of his time, but I guess they're like a life line for him. Also, I think that the other members might be like family to him. He mentioned that he was estranged from his family and he reaches out to his AA sponsor when he needs help. A lot of the people there seemed to know each other well and get along well. I imagine that their AA friends have replaced their drinking buddies.

At the end of the meeting we said the Lord's Prayer together, standing in a circle and holding hands. I've never done that with a group of strangers before and it made me feel bonded to them. I wonder if I were an alcoholic and were desperate for a drink, would this meeting be enough to stave off the desire. Listening to the speaker's stories of success was encouraging. Hearing about their struggle and failures was eye opening, considering that "There but by the grace of God go I."

The speakers and their stories made an impression on me. Three weeks after attending the meeting I still remember their names. I care about Richard, Chris, Lisa, Rosie and Walter. I want them to stay sober.