Welcome to Snarkopolis

Excuse me?! Can't you read? Yeah, I'm talking to you: middle aged male with the big umbrella who just blew by me in the bulk foods aisle. The sign says NO SAMPLING. Not only have you contaminated the contents of that bin by reaching your germ laden hand in there, but you've also stolen food from Hannaford. That's right, Bug Eyes, STOLE. As in thief, criminal, and against the law. That tasty treat you blithely popped in your mouth: didn't exactly pay for it did you?
I'll bet you think it's alright because you only took a handful, right? Well what would happen if all the free loading bums in the city of Manchester lined up and took just one handful without paying for it? There wouldn't be any left for your selfish self and the store would lose money. Oh yeah, and chaos and anarchy would ensue. That's all. Which is why we have rules. So that responsible people like me can live side by side with parasites like you.

Also,

I will vote for the first candidate who promises to exile Perez Hilton to a foreign country.