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First, you all need to chew with your mouths closed. You're making more noise than a herd of feeding cattle. If I can still hear the sound of crunching popcorn after the movie starts, heads are gonna roll.

Second, woman with the fussy baby: the fact that you're allowing your child to squawk and not taking care of its needs shows that you're a selfish individual who doesn't care about your kid or other movie goers. I feel sorry for your baby.

Third, people who brought children young enough so their legs just reach the back of my chair which they're kicking vigorously: are you out of your blinking minds?! What are you thinking, bringing kids that young to see a movie like this? Even if you were only educated by daytime talk shows, you should know that absorbing all this violence is not good for children. It's not just violence, either. The Joker is a nightmare factory. If your kids aren't frightened or upset, it's because you've exposed them to so much trash that they've become desensitized. As they grow older, nitwits, more intense on-screen horror, violence and insanity will be necessary to cause the catharsis movies provide. Consumer demand for bloodier, more horrifying movies will sink our world a little deeper in it's moral morass. Is it really so difficult to find a sitter for them? Nine bucks an hour is a cheap price to pay for a better world.

Fourth, obnoxious teenie boppers who have seen the movie before and laugh fawningly at the Joker's lines before he says them: OK, I understand that you idolize Heath Ledger now that he's dead, but loudly repeating that Christian Bale is the worst Batman of all time is ruining the movie for the rest of us. Since you're only watching about one third of the movie, I'll give you both $2.20, a third of the price of admission, to get the &#@* out of here.