Mothballs

I hate the smell of mothballs. It gives me a headache and make me a little neauseous. Two days ago I changed my sheets, taking the new ones out of the linen closet where my mom keeps imaginary moths at bay with--what else--mothballs. So I aired them out and tried to bear the stench as I went to sleep.

When I returned to my room at night I was met with the horrible mothball smell but I figured it was just lingering from the sheets. But this morning it was even worse. Getting dressed, I reached into my drawer and saw little round white things. Yep, mothballs. Six of them.

My first thought was that someone broke into our house and instead of taking anything, sneaked mothballs into my room. But that seemed a little improbable and I remembered that my dad was privy to one of my rants about how much I hate sheets that smell like mothballs. I figured that he was playing a joke on me.

Then I reached for my socks. More little white balls. I began suspecting my brother. There were mothballs in every dresser drawer, every shelf of my closet, stuck behind stacks of clothes and even under the chair cushions. That was too elaborate for Andy so I thought it must be my mom, going on some anti-moth crusade, for some reason, in the dead of winter.

Confronted, she admitted putting them there because she said the room smelled like varnish and mothballs "absorb smells". Moments before I had been madder than I’d ever been in my life, but my mom’s explanation was so comically ironic that I fell over laughing and forgave all.

I've been burning incense and candles ever since. At least every stitch of fabric in my room will be safe from munching moth mouths for a very long time.